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When Tech abuse becomes coercive and controlling behaviour

Writer's picture: Ffion ThomasFfion Thomas

Updated: Apr 27, 2023

We’ve all heard of the term coercive and controlling behaviour and unfortunately it has become all too familiar in recent years in Family Law matters. There are instances where there is a need for actions and allegations to be fully explored. However, there is also a need to balance the action that is being alleged and how it impacts the outcome of a case, whether that be as part of a divorce, separation, financial matters or even children matters. Something that is often not considered in detail is the use of technology and how it can be coercive and controlling.



Tech abuse, also known as digital abuse, is a form of domestic abuse whereby digital technology and devices are deliberately used to control, coerce, threaten, or harm another person. There is no definitive definition of tech abuse. Instead, it broadly includes any type of harmful or damaging behaviour carried via digital devices, networks, or services.

Perpetrators of tech abuse can be a partner, ex-partner, family member, friend, colleague, or even someone unknown to you. Tech abuse typically incorporates other forms of abuse, such as physical violence, economic abuse, coercive control, and sexual abuse.

In a world where it is common practice to spend an evening scrolling through social media or messaging friends and family on mobile devices, it is not uncommon to share passwords and devices when in a secure and happy relationship. A lot of us have smart watches which help us keep track of our physical activity, often involving GPS tracking. A number of homes are effectively “smart homes” with their home assistants set up to assist with daily life. Such devices have their benefit but their use involves there being trust between the parties to ensure that the devices are not misused.



What then happens if such trust is abused?


Unfortunately, abusers may either secretly or forcibly and without the consent of the other gain access to the devices in an attempt to abuse, monitor or control the other. Smart technologies, along with the apps, accounts, profiles, networks, and services they connect to, each have the potential to be used by tech abusers.

Perpetrators of domestic abuse intentionally misuse technology to harm or exert control over their survivors in several ways including exclusion, harassment, stalking, intimidating, and degrading. Abusers may secretly or forcibly gain access to their partner’s devices without consent, before using this access to monitor and abuse. They may exploit tracking features, install spyware or other software that allows them to covertly monitor and gather information, gaining remote access to messages, call history, photographs, and location trackers and more. This can be intimidating and extremely upsetting to not feel as if your own decisions and actions are safe or at risk of being discovered.

Abusers don’t need to be tech-savvy or proficient with IT to use digital devices, networks, or services to inflict harm. Everyday affordable and readily available technology provides sufficient tools for those with malicious intent. As new technology emerges and improves at pace, abusers will benefit from an ever wider and more sophisticated range of tools to inflict harm with.

What remains constant is the lasting impact on survivors’ lives, often with far-reaching personal consequences. Ultimately, these actions, if taken by an abuser without the authority of the victim, are actions of coercive and controlling behaviour and either the police can assist where necessary or we can.


If you would like a confidential discussion on this matter or any other family related issue please contact Ffion Thomas on 07354847700 or at ffion@ftlaw.co.uk

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